Christian dating app
2012.11.30 01:19 GayChristians
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2020.10.24 09:05 Zoozues I like my coworker but we have completely opposing religious beliefs, should I still go for it?
This is my first ever post, I downloaded this app so I could get advice on a few things so I figure might as well start with this.
I started working as a barista at the beginning of summer and I love my job more than anything. My coworkers are all amazing people and the costumers are all really kind so I’m very thankful to be in such an amazing environment. One of my coworkers, we’ll call him Benny (made up name), is the kindest man I’ve met in my life. No joke. He cares so deeply about everyone, he never says anything bad about other people, he takes care of his friends and family, etc... I honestly couldn’t say enough about how amazing he is.
I knew I was starting to like him but I have had depression and anxiety for years now and lately it has been extremely bad. It feels like everyday is a bad day and some days are just worse, stuck in a never ending cycle of crap basically. So I tried to convince myself that I didn’t like him because I knew pursuing it would only end up with hurt feelings on my end and I can’t really afford anymore sadness right now. But you can only do that for so long before it hurts more to ignore your feelings than to admire from afar.
Him and I get along so well: we love the same music, we have similar views on life such as future goals, he’s not homophobic or racist or any of that kind of stuff which is extremely important, we have the same sense of humor, we never run out of things to talk about and the conversation is never boring etc.. the only opposing view is our religion.
I grew up Muslim but due to personal reasons I stopped believing in god and thus became atheist. I love all religions that are practiced safely and peacefully, they’re very interesting to learn about but it’s not for me.
Benny on the other hand is a devout Christian, he attends a bible college and wants to become a professor for theology. He attends church and is the leader of a youth group, you could say he’s very involved.
Now as you can see, these are quite opposite of one another. I know it’s possible to date people of other religions as long as you’re respectful of one another’s opinions, as long as they don’t harm each other, but I just don’t know if he’d be willing to date outside of the typical Christian girl.
We talked about it once and he said that it’d be hard but he flirts with me all the time and he’s so playful with me so I’m just confused as to what he’s trying to convey, are you trying to date me or is this friendship behavior? I’m not sure if I’m reading too much into how he’s treating me, like I said before he’s so kind that what if I’m mistaking his kindness as something more than it is?
I feel like he’s everything I want and more but I don’t want to overstep my boundaries one of these days if I misunderstood his actions and it gets awkward between us at work. We hang out outside of work too and I don’t want to lose his friendship but I don’t know if me being atheist is a dealbreaker for him.
I guess my question is how can I test the waters and for couples out there who are different religions, how do you cope with the difference in your lives, does it affect you all that much?
Thanks for reading! Hope to hear back soon
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2020.10.23 01:57 Pale_Imagination_593 I (22m) met this girl (18f) on a dating app and we hit it off really good. She has been over twice and both times wanted to make out. First time I played it off as me bing hard to get and the second time I told her the real reason I couldn’t kiss her
Ok so yeah I know the title doesn’t really make all that much since but pretty much here’s what’s going on Also sorry for bad grammar and formatting I’m on mobile
So before I can really get into detail I need to tell a little about me. When I was a kid I was sexually abused by my biological mothers husband and it’s something that I have never been fully able to get over. I’ve been to therapy and other things to try to cope with it but it’s just something I can’t get over. Because of what happened I get panic attacks anytime there is any type of sexual activity or could lead to it. I have had one girlfriend who is the only person I’ve kissed and had sex with because she was the only person I could trust. When I was 18 she found out she was pregnant with our child and couldn’t face her super conservative Christian parents so she killed herself. That really fucked me up so basically for the past 4 years I’ve swore off dating and any relationship in general.
Ok so now this brings me to the situation I’m in now. I’ve been pretty depressed lately and lonely so my therapist had told me that I should put myself out there and try dating. I told her no can’t happen and she pretty much explained that I need to work through what happened at my own pace but going on some dates could help so I pretty much said fuck it I’ll sign up on a dating app. After about 2 months of matching with people I just didn’t click with I matched with her. We hit it off and I had to explain to her a fucked up living situation I’m in and she was fine with that. She came over last Monday and we talked and watched a movie but she was wanting to make out the whole night in which I just played hard to get. Like I teased and what not as to avoid a kiss and a certain panic attack. Over the next week we have been pretty much snapping constantly and flirting to the point that she wanted to come over again. So this past Monday she came over and again we watched a movie and this time I said fuck it I’ll give kissing a go. We had a small kiss which to my surprise didn’t lead to a panic attack but led to me realizing it seems like I’ve completely forgotten how to kiss if that’s even possible. I’ve only been with one other person but I didn’t think I’d forget what to do. So I tried to pass it off as me just being a bad kisser but it just got more awkward (didn’t help I hit her nose where she just got a new piercing and it made me laugh). Finally I realized she was getting annoyed with me so I just came out and said why I’m having such a hard time with this. Obviously she was upset and I get it. I wasn’t honest with her and it really embarrassed her and I felt like complete shit (still do). Well after about 15 min of a super awkward silence she finally said that we can only go up from there and that it’ll be alright. For the rest of the night we watched her favorite movie and joked and laughed about vaping until almost 2 in the morning. She was supposed to come back yesterday but it just didn’t pan out and now she’s starting to seem distant and can’t seem to find time to make plans anymore. I really like her and I don’t know what to do at this point or hell maybe I’m just thinking way too much into it. Any advice would be great thanks
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2020.10.21 09:56 locke_n_demosthenes Some OLD tips that worked for me to get matches
A bit about me. 27M Indian-American guy. I've had a lot of insecurities about dating for nearly all of my life, and using OLD seemed to confirm those. Over 3 years, I had right-swiped over 10,000 profiles, gotten about 20-30 matches, gotten responses from about 10 of them, exchanged several messages with 3 and asked them out, and got rejected all 3 times.
Finally, within the past month or so, I've finally had some success with OLD. I have set up dates with 3 women--1 ghosted, but the other 2 actually happened! I admit, my emotions around this are complex--this is the first time in my life where it's felt like women might be attracted to me (and it not being a fluke). But there are 2 things that I think helped me.
- You have to fork over the cash. I probably paid about $60 just to get about 10 matches, which led to 3 planned dates, and 2 actual dates. I paid for "spotlight" on Bumble which moves you to the front of the line, and I paid for Bumble Boost, which lets you see everyone who has liked you. As soon as either of these expired, i got zero matches.
- I rejected a lot of profiles at the beginning of using the app. I right-swiped on about 25% of profiles i saw, and I limited the number of right swipes i made per day to 8. Earlier, i had just right-swiped most profiles except for scams, being fairly desperate and open. It was actually pretty easy to cut down to 25%. I simply rejected any profile without a bio or with a cliche bio (e.g. "just ask me anything") and that got me most of the way there. The rest of the rejections were just lifestyle incompatibilities--e.g. they love dogs but I'm allergic, they are looking for a Christian partner but I'm atheist.
These seemed to work! Hopefully one day soon I'll get laid after 6 years of no romantic contact.
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2020.10.21 00:55 bikeking19 My (30F) just broke up with me (29M), completely blindsided by a relationship I was sure was headed towards marriage.
I had been with my girlfriend for going on 6 months and things had been pretty great. We met online through a dating app, exchanged numbers, got to texting each other a lot, did a couple of factime calls, and after a couple of weeks I asked her out and she said yes. It went about as good as it could have and we both quickly agreed to a second date, then a third, after 5 I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes.
She's never had a long term relationship, only a few dates here and there. She's a conservative Christian (as am I), waiting for marriage, had never even held hands with another guy much less kissed one. The whole thing just was so incredibly easy, we hit it off from the start having a ton of things in common. We were both into outdoors, hiking, camping, the beach, travel. We both believed life was about having experiences and adventures than just saving up for retirement, both passionate about God and apologetics, she was into cars, drove a stick, had her motorcycle license. She was really the perfect girl for me it seemed, she would go cliff jumping with me but could also make a homemade dinner from scratch.
After a couple of months I said I love you and she said it back, both firsts for us. We lived a little ways apart, me down in San Diego and her up in LA, two hours generally. 90% of the time I would drive up to see her, and even with me working 6 10s we would manage about 3 dates a week generally. We got to holding hands and me having my arm around her at church or watching a movie, which may seem trivial to most but those were big steps for her. I always paid for every date, it's just how I was raised and it wasn't ever really a question. Sometimes she would come visit me or we would meet in the middle in San Clemente and go to the beach.
She's a physical health assistant at an elementary school, working on her masters degree online with the intention of becoming a teacher, I'm an electronics technician contracting for the Navy. Our living situations are quite different. I moved to San Diego last October with the sole intention of saving up money and working my butt off. I wanted to have $50k in the bank in two years, and thats looking very promising. To do this with San Diego living expenses is near impossible, but I had already been comfortably living out of my prius by choice (its actually much more similar and more comfortable than van life in some ways than you might think), and she owned a house in Manhattan Beach thats nearly fully paid off. I didn't lead with my living situation lifestyle on our first date, usually not the best pickup line 😂, but she asked about it after our third date and I explained it to her and my goal and she thought it made a lot of sense and was pretty practical. I also picked her up for our first date and she had no idea and was pretty impressed with my setup, she had traveled and rented a camper van internationally before so it wasn't a completely foreign concept to her.
She had lived in LA all her life, I had just moved in last October but had lived in Oceanside (greater san diego area) for 7 years as a small kid. So moving onto our churches, her church was bigger than mine and started normal services and ministries back sooner than mine. My church was much smaller, only 50 people or so, no one my age really, it was the church i attended as a kid and my dad had been the pastor of (lifelong PK here).
Her mom had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer a year and a half ago, i got to meet her a few times and she was very nice, unfortunately the cancer got worse and on October 1 she passed away. This obviously hit my girl pretty hard, and she said she needed to put a pause not on the relationship but on the romance side of things, she just didn't have that side of her right now and didn't have a lot to give me which I completely understood. We agreed to still see each other once a week, usually on Sundays because thats my only off day. She came down to visit my church a couple of times and I introduced her to my friends and peers, but mostly I would go up there to hers.
This was going well and we still celebrated our monthly anniversary, always brought her favorite flowers and a thoughtful card which she really loved, for her birthday I took her camping for two nights which she had been telling me she had really been wanting to do but hadn't yet and that was really great.
Then two weeks ago after spending the day with her we went back to her house after dinner and talked some. She said she had questioned whether or not to stay in a relationship, not because of me but just in general with dealing with her mom and her work had been kind of chaotic and up in the air for awhile with covid, but she said I was such a great guy that she thought she should stay. She had also started seeing a counselor at her church shortly before her mom passed away, we talked some about that and it seemed to be really helping her. We would still text a lot, we used to talk on the phone more often then she said she just didn't have the energy to do that unless it was something really important and she said going to all texting had been very helpful for her.
The following weekend she was out of town visiting her grandpa in Michigan whom she was very close to so I hadn't seen her for two weeks which was about the longest we had gone without seeing each other. On Saturday evening we had planned to meet at the beach, she texted me in the morning that we needed to talk about something. She had never used vague phrasing like this ever before, she was absolutely incredible with communicating, what you saw was what you got, if she didn't like something you did or said, she would let you know, I loved the open and honest relationship we shared. I started to worry something was wrong, and texted her to please not use vague phrasing like that if we can't talk for several hours because it doesn't do anything positive for me mentally, probably a mistake, but our relationship was just so open and we shared things like this a lot I decided to do it, she apologized and said she just wanted to give me a heads up. So we meet up, i give her a big hug and she says let's sit down over here and instantly my heart sinks into my shoes. We sit down and she says she thinks we should stop seeing each other, that I'm a fantastic guy, I know how to treat a lady, she had no complaints on the romance or thoughtful gestures side of things. She said the main reason was that church and her church family were a big part of her life, and she needed that in a partner and didn't see that in me. This seems like a not only unfair view but one that is very wrong. All of my life, church has been a central theme, its where I got the majority of my friends and peers, i was always involved in Bible studies, leading childrens church or other small groups, etc. Right now as I said my church is very small and doesn't have a lot going on. Service on Sundays, Bible studies on Wednesdays, and I attended both regularly. Occasionally we would have work days but they were on Saturdays and i worked so I couldn't go to them. She also asked why I hadn't introduced her to more of my friends, i said honestly because I don't have many friends out here. I don't hang out with anyone outside of work, no one at church is my age really and she had met them, i have a few other friends that I hadn't introduced her to but no one really close to me. We had gone to Vegas where I used to live and I introduced her to some friends out there, one of my best friends is getting married in FL in January and we had plans to go together and I was so excited for her to meet a lot more of my friends, I just didn't really have that part of my life to share with her in san diego. She had mentioned a month ago that she felt I didn't share my life with her as much, which I then began to be more diligent about daily asking about her day and telling her about mine and different things God was showing me in my quiet times. I asked if she wanted to remain friends and she said because we didn't live close and our lives didn't naturally interact she didn't, if I lived in la then she would have said yes, which hurt even more not only because I had previously told her that no matter what I would always love her as a sister in Christ and would always want the best for her, and I still do. I had also become good friends with some of her friends, her neighbors, her dad loved me, even introduced me once as her boyfriend/fiance, so suddenly I feel that whole community cut off from my life, I haven't reached outcto to any of them yet and they haven't either. I had even asked her a month ago if there was anything I could do more of less of to better love her and love God, she took it very seriously and took several days to pray and think on it, which is when she brought up me not sharing my life with her but she didn't mention any of the things she was mentioning now.
So I'm obviously very heart broken over this, we had talked about marriage before and before her mom passed we had even talked about having our first kiss in the near future (she wanted the only guy she ever kissed to be her husband) and were on the same page I felt like. I grew up with four sisters two older and two younger so im no stranger to the female mind and behavior, but this really caught me off guard, I don't feel her reasons are valid or even correct, it really hurts that she can't see church playing a big role in my life, she said she had paid close attention to that from the very beginning. Thankfully I'm still working a lot an have a loving family and good friends to fall back on in support and I'm not going to withdraw to myself feeling sad and not talking to anyone, i need physical exercise and friendship and to give my problems to God (sorry this is so churchy, I know a lot of people aren't but it obviously a big part of both our lives) So I'm very hurt and left with questions and also don't know if I should reach out to any of her friends or dad, that part hurts a lot as well. I was thinking I would wait a month to let any rash emotions settle down than if i still felt this way to write her a letter. A text seemed like it would be too inpresonable and I wasn't even sure if a phone call would be good or how to go about that so a letter made the most sense to me. Any advice on how to handle it?
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2020.10.20 19:41 moonlightair I [21F] want to move out and live my life but i’m worried of leaving my mum alone
My mum doesn’t have a healthy outlook on a lot of things and relationships is one of them.
She doesn’t pick them well and unfortunately this is probably due to her being a victim of abuse in many relationships and not having a lot of support when growing up.
My sister and I are adults now, she took a gap year and will be going to university in 2021, I moved back home from university and transferred universities (even had to be held back a year) because I didn’t want my mum to be alone....
She’s lonely, doesn’t have a ton of friends (she does have like 3) and she really wants a companion (a boyfriend). We’ve set her up on a christian dating website and there are so many men who are interested in her and that seem to be very eligible “bachelors” but she doesn’t seem to be making efforts to message any of them...
I want to move out desperately to live my own life but I can’t as i don’t want her to be left alone. It’s really causing me so much stress as I really don’t want her to be alone but i want to live my life.
She’s fixated on wanted to get back with my dad who I only just today found out was arrested when I was 5 because he assaulted my mum and my mum ran away from him .... yet 16 years later my mum wants to go back to him. I think her being a victim of abuse her led her to continually forgive these bad men that have mistreated her instead of finding someone new.
My mum only goes to work or stays at home. Since covid this has just gotten worse and she’s kinda shy so she’s unlikely to find someone naturally and in the “real world”.
What do I do ? Should I be more proactive in helping her to navigate the dating app more ? I don’t know what to do.
TLDR I want to move out of my mums home and live my life but i’m scared of leaving her alone. She doesn’t seem to be trying to find a man or doing anything about it so I don’t know when i’d be able to live my life!
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2020.10.20 16:29 Ortho-Apologia A response to u/Vive_La_Muerte’s argument against the resurrection from four months ago
! I saw this post from a few months ago: https://www.reddit.com/DebateAChristian/comments/iif75e/griefbereavement_hallucinations_can_probably/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Since it has been so long, and I couldn’t respond, I decided to make this post as my response.
I have no problem conceding for the sake of argument that the appearances to the 500 and ‘mass hysteria’ overtaking all the twelve are not historical (Although some Atheist Historians would not be so quick to do so: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gerd_Lüdemann
). I also have no problem granting that only Peter, Paul and James were martyred, or even that only general killings of Christians were undertaken by the Roman authorities. I also won’t bother to grant that the tomb was empty. I will concede your far more liberal (albeit mainstream) interpretation since you grant all of my historical bedrock (minus Paul’s conversion, which you fail to account for). I will say that Paul met with Peter, James and John, and so we must account for, at minimum, the belief of these four men.
On to your theory. You write:
“Jesus is crucified. Joseph of Arimathea has him buried in the family tomb, out of deference to Jewish custom.” (I will concede this burial was ahistorical for the sake of argument)
The disciples are demoralized and scattered. Four of the twelve decide this is it, Jesus is dead, it's over. They take off and disappear from history.
A few days later (say, three, give or take) some local wannabe sorcerer steals Jesus' body from the tomb, hoping it maintains magical properties. What happens to the remains after this point is unimportant.
Soon afterwards, a few of Jesus' female followers come to the tomb for whatever reason. They find it empty, and run off to tell Peter and what remains of the Twelve.” Commentary:
To recap, you grant most of the historical bedrock I would use. Namely, the appearance to Peter, James and John as well as the crucifixion. You do not account for the conversion of Paul.
“When Peter hears of this, his first thought is the prediction of Jesus that he would rise from the dead after his death. He thinks 'could it be?'. That night, he has a dream or a vision of some kind, in which Jesus appears to him and says he has indeed been raised up to heaven. Peter, of course, wants to believe, and is convinced. The next day, he proclaims to the remaining seven disciples (plus himself) that Jesus has been resurrected, just as he predicted.” Commentary:
Here is where we start to see some problems. First of all, let’s say Peter does want to believe Jesus rose from the dead. Second temple Jews rejected bodily resurrection. However, apotheosis was fairly well known in the jewish scriptures with many prophets being assumed to heaven. It is an anachronism to claim Peter would have jumped to the conclusion of bodily resurrection like that
. It would have taken much more than a dream or a simple visual hallucination. But the real problem is that this hypothesis doesn’t even get off the ground because Peter wouldn’t have wanted to believe Jesus rose from the dead.
In every other example of dissonance, the subjects find a way to postpone their beliefs or receive a fresh revelation that preserves what they really want to believe. The early Christian belief was such a distortion of what the messiah was supposed to do - even who the messiah was - that I don’t see what belief they were preserving. Sure, they called Jesus the messiah before and called him the messiah after and routed this in firm belief the OT scriptures, but the messiah didn’t fulfil his purposes - the messiah didn’t redeem Israel and was killed by the people he was supposed to defeat. The early Christians didn’t postpone the redemption of Israel either. Instead, the apostles claimed that Israel didn’t need to be redeemed in a political sense or even by means of a spiritual revival after all. Rather, the messiah was supposed to be killed by the very people he was supposed to valiantly overthrow, only to rise again - not in order to continue his mission - but in order to provide forgiveness of sins and vouchsafe hope in the ultimate resurrection of his followers. The messianic mission of Jesus was no longer to redeem Israel, but to forgive sins and vouchsafe hope in the ultimate resurrection of anyone who chooses to follow him.
To circle back to the case of the Lubavitcher you brought up earlier, let me quote this WestarInstitute Article by Komarinsky (I assume this is who you were referencing? He’s the only one I know of who uses the Chabad as an analogue for the resurrection beliefs of early Christians).
“But it was not impossible. Rebbe Schneerson’s followers rationalized that their dead Messiah would complete his mission later, after he resurrected from the dead. Putting aside whether or not this rationalization is coherent, Berger’s reaction illustrates how big a gap there can be between what we think is possible with a cognitive dissonance reduction rationalization and what actually is possible. (. . .) Of course, the Lubavitchers’ rationalization is not quite the same as that of Jesus’ followers, who claimed that Jesus had already been resurrected from the dead, but there is a good reason for this difference. In Lubavitcher theology, a “prince,” in this case Rebbe Schneerson (who did not designate a successor), must be present in this world in some physical capacity in order to mediate the world’s divine force or the world would cease to exist. Since the world still existed, Rebbe Schneerson had to still be physically present in the grave; he could not have been resurrected from the dead and transported up to heaven as Jesus’ followers believed about him.” (Komarinsky, Westar Institute)
It seems to me that we are dealing with a simple postponement. The followers of the Lubavitcher rebbe did not change who the messiah was (ie a man to the Son of God himself), nor did they change the purpose of the messiah. Rebbe Schneerson was still going to redeem Israel in an earthly sense. Their ultimate hope was still very much in the same messiah. He simple hadn’t died or would be raised to continue his mission.
To illustrate my point further, let’s consider another example of dissonance: the millerites. “But October 22, 1844, came and went with no second coming of Jesus. This second disconfirmation almost killed the movement, but still, yet another, and this time much more complex, belief emerged—the date had been correct, but Jesus’ second coming had occurred in heaven, not on earth. Jesus had begun an investigative judgment of the world, and when he is done he will return to earth, but no one knows exactly when. This rationalization was sustained and continues to this day with membership in the millions. It is known as the Church of Seventh-day Adventists.” (Komarinsky, Westar Institute)
In other words, the millerites believed Jesus’ second coming occured, but that the new revelation was that he had begun a longer investigative judgment. It is, essentially, another post ponement. In Festinger’s UFO cult study, they also believed in a fresh revelation, which preserved their belief that the woman upon which the movement was centred upon who had recieved the messages from outer space had not, in fact, been wrong. She simply had a new, fresh revelation for the flying saucer devotees - namely that God had decided to spare them.
The only way to reconcile his Messiahship with his death was the imminent destruction of gentile kingdoms. That is it. I think whatever superficial connection has been forged between the messianic expectations of Jews and of early Christians should be revealed for being incredibly weak.
The belief that the gentile kingdoms are going to be destroyed or that Israel is going to be physically reborn was not part of the messianic expectations of the first century AFAIK. Christians believed that Jesus’ second coming was exclusively to judge sinners and resurrect his followers in a world free from all sin and death. This is not the same political overthrow of gentiles and rebirth of Israel that you see in the Second Temple Judaism. This is actually the precise difference I was noting above regarding the millerites and the Lubavitcher. They simply post poned their belief (“oh, Jesus’ second coming did happen. He’s just in an investigative judgment phase now. It’ll be over soon.” Or “Oh, the Rebbe? Yeah, he didn’t actually die for good. He’s gonna be right back to finish his mission.”) the Christians didn’t claim anything like this. The expressly denied that an earthly rebirth of Israel was the purpose of the messiah.
Messianic expectations in the first century rejected the suffering servant messiah, as rabbinic Jews continue to believe to this day. The conception of the messiah, of course, varied, but not in the sense of the purpose of the messiah, which in the first century was to provide some sort of political revolution and/or spiritual revival (ie more pious Jews and less heathens) for Israel. This wouldn’t have solved Peter’s dissonance because his belief in a political messiah was what he wanted. This wasn’t a mere postponement either like the rebbe, or sabbatai or even the millerites. This was a complete rejigging of the messiah to the extent that he resembled nothing like he did before.
Now I feel it is important to note that, as a Christian, I do believe Jesus fulfilled the messianic prophecies, and that the early Christian community justified their belief in Jesus as the messiah in the Old Testament scriptures. It is important to note that this could occur only after they radically changed the messiah to the extent that it preserved none of their beliefs.
“Two of them, say, Thomas and another, don't believe him. They say 'sorry, Jesus is dead'. And that's that, for them. The other five do.
So now we have Peter and five disciples who all believe Jesus has been raised from death. Over the next few days or weeks, another two or three of the apostles have their own dreams or visions or other experiences which they interpret as Jesus' appearing to them. That's enough to convince any remaining doubters among those who don't
have visions, or at least to keep them from questioning it. After all, the tomb is empty, right?
And there we have the seeds of the resurrection story, within a few weeks to months of Jesus' crucifixion. No need for lying, or swooning, or mass hallucinations, or late legends, or secret twins.
Of course, I don't think this is exactly what happened. I have no proof this is what happened. But it fits just as well with the circumstantial evidence we have, and does not require me to believe in revivified corpses.”
Hold on, you seemed to miss Paul. Paul’s conversion is part of our historical bedrock as well. u/Viva_La_Muerte
how do you explain his?
Paul was a pious Pharisee who hated the Christian church. Now, of course it makes sense to play up how much of a non believer he was before, but it doesn’t make sense to invent how he persecuted the church. He even hints that the Christian community at Galatia was aware of his former status as a Pharisee who arrested and beat up Christians (even if you don’t grant he killed them, which I am willing to do for the sake of argument)
. Paul was not predisposed due to cognitive dissonance, he wasn’t greaving Jesus’ death and there is nothing to suggest he would have experienced hallucinations of Jesus. Moreover, there is nothing to suggest he wanted to, and even more there is everything to suggest the contrary.
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2020.10.20 15:25 floweroftheworld Am I past my prime for dating?
I'm a female in my mid-20s. I am just now finishing law school. I'm in a city where there are very few Indians. Most men here are very conservative Caucasian Christians who preferred to marry within their own race-no judgement there.
I've had a very hard time meeting people. I met one guy and dated him, he stated he was serious...only to back out because he wasn't ready for marriage. I've tried to meet men on online apps like dil mil and shaadi. But they are all long distance-which is fine by me but many drop out and ghost me-aren't willing to make the distance work etc. And those few who I did meet...did not seem social. I'm not some social butterfly expecting a super charismatic person. But the men I met literally would not talk-even the 2nd time meeting. It was me always making the conversation, whether meeting or on the phone, and if I didn't, there would be an awkward silence. These men also never made the effort to call/text. In 100% of these cases, it was parents getting their kids on shaadi.com
This makes me wonder if, at 27, I am past my prime-should I be realistic and understand perhaps I won't find someone who willingly, on his own, wants to date/marry and rather is being forced by his parents? I guess it's better to be realistic.
My parents have tried to set me up with a guy-parents forced him, he was insecure dating a lawyer, and so I refused to take it further.
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2020.10.20 10:53 haulm_ Adding Notes via Watch
Christian Drosten (a leading German virologist) recommends keeping a contact diary to enable the authorities to find sources of infection (Cluster).
For this purpose I have created a small shortcut. The current position, and the current date is entered in a note. Additionally the type of contact can be entered.
On the iPhone everything works fine. Is there a way to make the shortcut Apple Watch compatible?
At the moment I always get the error "invalid app" when I try to add the diary entry to the note.
(Sorry for my bad English)
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2020.10.20 07:10 piggiewheeks Learned today that a coworker is doing something illegal and incredibly morally wrong outside of work. I now feel very uncomfortable working with him.
Backstory: I have been working with this coworker for the past 10 months and have built almost a parental relationship with him. At work, I am his supervisor (but not manager). He lost his mom a few years ago and has a rocky relationship with his father. He is an out gay kid in a red, very conservative and christian area. Recently, he dumped his bf (18m) and will be moving out of his family home once he turns 18 in a few weeks. Over the last couple months coworker has made jokes about getting a sugar daddy and expressing issues with finances. Also has made comments alluding to prostitution amd essentially wanting to get paid for sex. Over the last couple days has been talking constantly about possibly being a homewrecker and making jokes around that sort.
Incident: While at work tonight, coworker (17m) tells the story on how he's a homewrecker. Coworker tells me that he has been using gay dating apps to target and find closeted gay married men. He exchanges nudes with them and lies saying he is over 18. He will then go to their homes and have sex with the men and unknowingly (to the men) record sexual acts. He also thoroughly documents all conversations and pictures exchanged with these men. Afterwards he will request money from the men. If the men don't pay him, he will then say he will go to the police.. Basically going "gotcha, I'm a minor. Pay up or you will be publicly exposed as a pedophile". Well apparently last week this little routine did not work, and the man (50m "straight" married with kids) he was trying to extort said no sir what you're doing will get you in trouble too. Man did not pay up and coworker got mad.. and now is looking to get even. While at this man's house, coworker took photos of everything, including photos of this man's family and a bunch of information on him.
Now, coworker is stalking this man's family and attempting to befriend the man's daughter because they are close in age and have mutual connections. Coworker wants to blackmail this man for money by sending man photos of himself with the daughter. And if the man doesn't pay up, he will inform the daughter of their "relationship" and share all videos and pictures he has of them together.
Conclusion: I was left speechless and stayed very quiet during all the explanations.. I have treated amd viewed this coworker like a son but what he is doing is so WRONG AND ILLEGAL. I'm dumbfounded on what to do.
What should I say to coworker?
What should I do at work, now that I am EXTREMELY uncomfortable around him, after learning of this?
Is there anything legally or morally I should do?
Edit: UPDATE! After a lot of discussions, thoughts and insights.. I realize, after reflecting, that the ultimate goal is to help this coworker in some way. As another redditor commented, this young man needs help. And while I may personally not be the person to help him, I would like to try and point him in the right direction. I do not want to focus on the illegal parts of this story, but more so the cry for help that needs a response.
Also, I am still seeking advice if this issue should be brought to SM, DM or PCC attention. And any ideas or tips on what to say.. I am not looking to get this coworker fired. HOWEVER, this issue took place on the clock, on the floor, in front of another partner who appeared concerned but uncomfortable. If the other partner were to speak to anyone about what was heard tonight, and it got back to SM, DM or higher.. could I be reprimanded or fired?
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2020.10.19 16:56 YYCchatterbox I'm [29F] wasting my life, and I don't know how to reignite my excitement for living and find a loving partner.
A little backstory, I grew up in a fundamentalist christian sect. There were short snippets of it that I remember fondly, but those moments were few and far between next to the stressfully high expectations and extreme rhetoric that effectively isolated you from anyone except that particular group of christians. Women couldn't speak, had to keep their heads covered, you were excommunicated if you left, isolated from the world to keep you attached to the church... it had all the hallmarks of a cult. In my early twenties I entered a state of panic I began to worry that I wouldn't amount to anything as the sect was too small to find someone I really loved and the idea of settling into a marriage where I was effectively existed to serve my husband seemed like a nightmare. Most of the men I dated were serial cheaters, and the church didn't care much to address behaviour like that, you just "put up" with it and waited to be "chosen". So I started a side business, became an influencer for a while and got to experience some awesome trips and expand my marketing and photography skill set against my parents wishes. My parents hated my independant and "stubborn" attitude, and despite many other people commenting on how awesome my work was... nothing I ever did satisfied them. They were incredibly cruel with their words, and rarely were able to keep friendships going because they would sabotage them and assumed everyone was out to get them to some capacity. When I was 25 I finally left the insanity of this church behind me, and started fresh in a world that I was taught to fear and reject. I moved out of my parents home, despite their angry lectures about how I'd be alone and miserable. My parents were cold to me, and the community I once knew as pretty much my family completely shut me out. I immediately got myself into therapy, and thrived under my psychiatrists direction and help.
Its been 4 years now, and I've made many strides in my thinking and effectively backtracked out of some really damaging thoughts and opinions. Met all sorts of new people, and I reconnected with one amazing friend from high school who unfortunately moved away with her husband the following year. But we still keep in touch.
The issue is that i'm tired, extremely tired. My side business has gone to the wayside due to this mental exhaustion and feeling both creatively and mentally burned out, I feel panicked about the fact that its very hard to settle down and find a lasting relationship amidst the pandemic and I wonder if i'll get the opportunity to be a mom, something I've always wanted for myself. My full time job feels like a dead end, and even the simplest thing like getting my ears pierced (wasn't allowed in the church) makes me nervous because I don't know if I can welcome any more distain and judgement from my family members without sliding back into the pattern of feeling unwanted and unworthy. I've mended my relationship a small bit with them, but its brittle, and whatever progress I make it usually shattered when i have to step in to defend my younger brothers... a responsibility I probably shouldn't be shouldering. It's hard dating when you have all this baggage to explain to men, some are equipped to handle it... and incredibly sweet and understanding... but I think that the fact i've never been in love really 'shows' in how cautious I am to leap into a relationship. I don't unload on them, and I can shoulder my past quite well I believe, but its more that eventually I have to tell them that, yes, I have a contentious relationship with my parents and used to belong to a psycho religious circle and I can understand how that seems "complicated" and "too much" to take on. I find that people do like me a lot, and that I am easy to connect with, and to be friends with... so i think it would be quite easy for me to make friends but at 29 most people are settled in their friend groups and it's very hard to find a place. Oddly, I've made many male friends off dating apps... and they have been really great hiking pals during the summer months and are always up to discuss and debate our dating lives. But I still feel very lonely.
My days are feeling monotonous. I spent quarantine and isolation cooking and creating new things and I felt deeply productive and also engaged with a few new photography projects. But financially, and relationship wise....nothing is changing. Work feels like the same thing every day and the drive and enthusiasum I had for life is waning without someone to spend it with or goals to aim for. I don't know what first steps to take in order to shift the trajectory of my life, I had my time to decompress after my stage of burning out, but I need to add something to the fire and ignite my excitement for living again so that I can be an attractive prospect for someone special and return to my happy, extroverted disposition.
EDIT: I didn't expect this outpouring of love, I was getting so many responses I had to wait until I got home from work and then I just read and re-read many of them and had an emotional purge (AKA loudly bawled my eyes out at my kitchen counter). I think maybe more people need to do that in some capacity before the end of the year because it felt so good to release all that pent up emotion and stop feeling burned by the stranglehold of expectation and the loss involved in this year. I used to hate crying because I was told it was a sign of immaturity and childishness in a grown up, what a ridiculous notion to still cling to... its no wonder I come from a family that struggles to empathize. My eyes also fell onto a couple of books in my living room where my work has been published, and I realized that I must truly hate myself if I can't acknowledge the blood, sweat and tears it took to arrive at this place I am now, and that if I don't give up... there's no telling where life will take me. Thanks everyone.
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2020.10.19 15:22 thegeezer2206 Seeking Godly Friends/Community?
Hi all! Happy Monday and praying for you all. So I was thinking if anyone knows of any websites/apps where you can make and meet Christian friends? Sort of people with the same interests, beliefs, and in general people you’d love to chat to. I am 23 and was in college and found it hard to meet Christians for me that are sports fanatics. A lot of my in person Christian friends aren’t sports fanatics like I am, so I tend to sometimes feel out of place.
I was thinking the other day of possibly creating an online Christian FRIEND app, not dating app that focuses on building community/friendship.
Ooooh forgot to throw this in, but I live in Omaha, and love the Maverick City type of worship... but don’t know anyone here who maybe does such worship at their house so I figured why not ask.
TLDR: are there any Christian Apps that focus on Community/Friendships. If not so believe I can create an app that focuses on this.
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2020.10.19 11:03 somethingsecretuknow Can someone help me make sense of this?
I’m grateful to anyone who reads this and would sincerely appreciate a response! 🙏🏻
I am a 26 year old female
I have a lot of trust issues/anxiety/depression/horrible past relationships etc I also used to be way heavier than I am now and now that I’ve lost, the attention from guys is extremely overwhelming to me.
Started talking with 35 year old male and I was very much attracted he said he’s Christian and looking for a relationship..
We hit it off immediately banter wise/connection but I noticed he was being pushy from the get go wanting my number fast within the first few hours of talking.. I like to wait a few days, but since I was so attracted I gave him my number on day 2. He would begin to start texting me morning/noon/night! Because I was so attracted.. at first it was very very flattering and wanted.
Let this be known we talked 5 days total including on the site and he immediately started calling me pets names etc.
So, on day 2,3,4 he is texting all hours and calling me pet names over and over again, he sent videos of him and his siblings/nieces/nephews, over using emojis and heart eyes/kisses, calls me “baby” “hi, my queen”I turn him on” etc
We ended up video chatting and he wasn’t as needy as the texts at all! The only thing was he asked me on our first video call if I wanted to get married, kids, am I looking for a boyfriend, asked a lot about family and upbringing etc
I understand these are normal questions, but we just matched the day before and I gave him my number that day and he was already asking extremely personal questions. I thought our first video chat was to confirm we’re both real and see if we connect. So, I was very off put by how strong and forward he was being.
Then as soon as we end video chat he would text and dote all over me and send emojis or a pet name or ask for a picture and try to continue the conversation. After the first video chat he sent this long message after of how he’s “NEVER met anyone like me and that I’m so unique and special and that he just knows I’m different he can feel it and how much he liked me” etc.. we just spoke for an hour over video chat..
He then would text me good morning and keep it going all day and night. He texted after every video chat. (3-4) times. Also, if I didn’t answer the first time he would call or chat he would try again 3-4 times and text “hey” instead of giving me time to call back.
I texted him I was on a walk and he then called just to chat.. and then asked me “So, what did you think of our video chat?” I said “I thought it was great..you?” He said “it was amazingg. It really was” he then asks what I thought about it and I said something like “uh, it was great I didn’t think anything bad” I could tell he noticed my awkward tone. After this I pulled back on texting and emoji use.
I could feel the awkward start to grow because I didn’t feel my time or space was being respected and I felt like he was asking me that just so I can reassure him or boost his ego. It just seemed odd I’d never had that asked like that before.
I’m sure this is normal for some, but it takes me a while to warm up I am not used to all of this so soon. It was beginning to feel like we were in a relationship even though we barely started talking.
I accidentally sent him a text message and I said “Sorry, that wasn’t for you” He said something like “lolol someone else?” Then said “You better not talk to anyone” and said it again on video chat. This was a red flag, but I wrote it off as he was “joking” because it seemed he was at the time.
I didn’t know how to express my feelings because I was beginning to like him because despite him coming on so strong there was definitely a connection and spark. No doubt!
I grew very annoyed and cold because I felt he wasn’t respecting me. I already told him I want to get to know him slowly and that I’m not comfortable sending a lot of videos/selfie’s of myself until I know someone but I’m very much interested!
I couldn’t take it anymore he wasn’t asking about my day, and it seemed like he was becoming obsessed with the idea of me and I felt like I was losing my freedom even after just days. I just didn’t think it was healthy to go so fast. I pulled back because I was beginning to like him and in my past experience every time I’ve rushed it’s crashed and burned so I’m very cautious now especially in the beginning!
We were messaging and then he again instead of asking about my day was asking me to send pictures. I told him something along the lines of..
“Look I really like you, but I feel like I’ve sent enough pictures of myself for now. I am in the middle of moving and working on my business and like I’ve mentioned before I’m a private person and will send more once we get to know each other so please be patient with me and understand this!”
He sent “where are you moving?”
I said something like..
“I do not know yet still looking. So, just in the process right now, but I’m not moving away just places.. I have a video I found maybe I can share with you later”
And, I also sent a 2 second video of me saying hi with a peace sign..
I thought we were good and I took a nap and woke up to this long message response and I do not remember much because I was upset, but he went on and said “how shady I’m being and something about wasting his time.”
I said “how offended I was and how it’s not wrong to be a private person who values their time and just because he’s comfortable doing that all day I’m not and I don’t owe him anything” I said more but I don’t remember.. He left me on read
So, I left it there for the night and messaged him “good afternoon” the next day. He responded the same but was clearly not wanting to talk. We eventually talked but I got upset again because we were going back and forth it was just awkward so I said..
“what’s going on”
he then said
“This is all too much for me. This isn’t going to work. You’re just too shy for me. It’s too much! We barely even know each other” etc
This really struck a cord with me and I got upset and sent a long message. I honestly don’t remember but it was something along the lines of..
“how funny me being shy was the most favorite thing about me on video chat and that he needs to be careful with his words because it’s not fair to lead someone on with them and call them pet names all day to Love Bomb them, talk about the future etc and then just say oh never mind you’re too this or that”
I thought it was very careless because he Love Bombed me for days and now because I don’t send enough pictures to his liking he’s saying this. FYI he never asked or sent a nude. Everything was PG he just would want selfies of me, my day etc
I also said “we should restart as friends”
He said “okay”
I tried to restart things by sending a couple short videos and he left me on read. I got so embarrassed I just said
He said it back and then I was so embarrassed he didn’t respond to my videos I disabled my dating site and messaging app.
He’s not blocked on texts and I don’t know if I am.
My conflict is although he annoyed me and bombarded me with affection. I still was beginning to like him and his humor! We had a lot of fun moments talking and I was excited to hang out!
Because of my struggle with anxiety/trusting others it’s hard for me to see clearly with this. I want to reach out again because there honestly was a sincere connection there, but his actions at times made me so uncomfortable and I don’t know if I’m wrong. Now I feel like it’s my fault and I lost a great connection and I should’ve just sent more stuff of myself!
I just got so overwhelmed and now I feel like I must’ve done something wrong. I feel a little sucked in, in a way because of all the Love Bombing and attention. I’m confused.
Was I overreacting or did I dodge a bullet? Am I at fault?
I really need some clear minds here 🙏🏻🙏🏻 Any advice is appreciated.
TLDR; Female 26 years old Started talking with Male 35 years old online. Total 5 days talking and we immediately connected and were attracted to one another. We hit it off talking, but as soon as I gave my number I felt the texting was too much and he was calling me pet names, over using heart and kissy emojis, asking over and over to send selfie’s/videos. Finally got too overwhelmed and we clashed and then I friendzoned him now it’s awkward and we’re not talking. We were supposed to meet next week. Feeling guilty like it’s my fault. Not sure if I should try and amend this at all?
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2020.10.19 10:36 MaximusFleximus Going to try CDFF christian dating app, what am I in for?
Anyone had experience with this app before? Did you find success in finding a Christian partner?
I feel this dating app has the most Christian people looking for dates in terms of numbers (Over 1 million users) as other dating Christian apps fall short.
I'm a devoted Christian and attend Church and help out at Church fundraisers with a handful of friends whenever I am available.
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2020.10.19 08:27 MaximusFleximus About to try CDFF Christian app, what am I in for?
Anyone had experience with this app before? Did you find success in finding a Christian partner?
I feel this dating app has the most Christian people looking for dates in terms of numbers (Over 1 million users) as other dating Christian apps fall short.
I'm a devoted Christian and attend Church and help out at Church fundraisers with a handful of friends whenever I am available.
submitted by MaximusFleximus
to ChristianDating [link] [comments]
2020.10.19 06:42 thedonhudson01 Struggling with Loneliness
Hello everyone, I just recently turned 26-years-old (male) and I've been struggling with loneliness since high school. I was raised and live in a Christian home with my parents and I identify myself with God, but I still struggle with this. I've only been on one date in my entire life and I haven't experienced any romantic intimacy. I've tried nearly every dating app and service that's out there and I've worked hard to try to find a potential boyfriend, but it just won't work. I've prayed for a long time and asked God for a sign or something to help with this loneliness, but I haven't seen anything. It like feels my prayers have gone unanswered... I'm just terrified of getting older and my circumstances remaining the same. I'm sorry for this rambling post, but I wanted to get my thoughts out and hopefully get a response to this post. Thanks for your time.
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2020.10.17 23:49 illinoishorrorman Keeping mononymous: the 💡 in mind...
I am passing something I found along via a link
from YouTube, the thing I said in an email about the situation in those who have a disability I have noticed the vagueness brought to the table. This is something I am planning for my classmate and a cousin, my classmate works for UPS and attended Rush University okay in Chicago this is a medical college. My cousin is from the high school to workforce pipeline and how would one train someone from this background how to do my field?
Okay since the group has a no doxing policy, this will be something to consider you can keep mononymous
if one wants to speak about the high school to workforce pipeline (I am using both an iPad and laptop to do this post, the fixing school to work pipeline
. What a mononymous identity is will be a pen name that only uses one name to produce a written work [effectively keeping the contributors anonymous yet what is brought on the table will carry weight.]. This may help though a few who may find this isn’t a complete fix of the situation though I see a situation where those who are bachelor and associates degree who are forced to take positions that commonly end up for those who didn’t finish high school.
I had banged heads with the counterparts
to whom I was with eight years, and those who are disabled with some college I am sure you know where this is coming from. I asked the higher ups about continuing in the freelance direction I saw two results, one of them said and quote:
What you said of Bartlett, Illinois I don’t blame you for being a freelancer while disabled. I read into Pensacola Christian College, and it was pretty close to what you revealed —heard the stories about them being CONTROVERSIAL. I have to applaud you with your research work.
This was based on part of the phone conversation last year, those who want to relate of the scenario going on your identity will be protected working with my cousin and classmates. My email address is [email protected]
and project submission email is [if one can go 4000-6000 okay consider this a real plus] [email protected]
. I don’t understand how those who have a disability are asked to even lower their expectations to have a success story.
WHAT you refuse to be an employee? Never in my lifetime I heard someone say this, wait I take that back though I need to research this more and I will get back to you. I will see what I can find via Indeed, and get back to you.
This is almost an Eye-opening response to them, those who had me take the career test [I work with retail and consumer tech but not as an employee. It is almost hard to pigeonhole my roles at Kobo and Rakuten in a nutshell. I use the one to fund a project as a publisher and help get what others need for visuals.] my knowledge working with online checkout came working with Lulu.com and the getting wholesale copies of projects I worked on aka the proof copy aka Advance Reader Copy before the street date and street date means when a publication is live and published via eBook or print-on-demand as the latter are your flesh and bloods [physical finished project. PDF is your galley proofs.]
The master document for a publishing project are a group of files the editor or anthology publishing used to arrange a project before the PDF or ePub export file best results are Open Office Document Text [.odt]
there are programs which allow those to open .doc or .docx [WPS Office]
the accusation of 💩 on MS Word okay I will explain there are more than one program out there that does as well if not more robust. The post reference
if one wants something much longer to read and study what is on the table.
Okay for someone like me, I am disabled and know about ticket to work, could someone explain to Vocational Rehabilitation why freelance [writer, editorial, and graphic design if not doing trifold in their vocabulary? I am providing information ℹ️ on the 2020 Revised Red Book
Okay that is some of the skinny on the situation then this is something via SMS sent to me and I am going to try and type this out, “Are you still available to call at 1:30 PM. Discussing your vocational evaluation....”
Me, “I rather work in a freelancer role than be insulted to be an employee. I rather NOT be a W-2.”
Her, “I wish you a lot of good luck, and a job soon.”
Okay that wording just doesn’t sound right to me, for one “U” is Not a word. She called herself a graphic design base, I asked her what is her graphic design base. I responded if she did trifold and direct mail, I AM GOING TO LAUGH her out of the room. This is the one of the three problems
then this part with trifold brochures being boring
. The thing with graphic design [and with experience I made it a rule from refraining from the things I’ve seen in Pinellas Beaches.)
Also this brings the issue home
and the question is what are the arguments against the issue? I will say if one is a high school dropout and no General Education Development I suggest not submitting to a magazine.
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2020.10.17 19:31 coRvid_ice_elation Massive Lawsuit Launches Against the Lockdowns
- The German Corona Extra-Parliamentary Inquiry Committee (Außerparlamentarischer Corona Untersuchungsausschuss), launched July 10, 2020, was founded by four trial attorneys to investigate and prosecute those responsible for implementing the economically devastating lockdowns around the world, as well as using fraudulent testing to engineer the appearance of a dangerous pandemic
- The Corona Extra-Parliamentary Inquiry Committee will be working with an international network of lawyers to argue the most massive tort case ever — a case described as “probably the greatest crime against humanity ever committed”
- They argue that pandemic measures were intended to sow panic so that the pharmaceutical and tech industries can generate huge profits from the sale of PCR tests, antigen and antibody tests and vaccines, and the harvesting of our genetic fingerprints
- Lockdowns were unnecessary, and any claim to the contrary is wrong, the Inquiry Committee insists. The virus was already in retreat and infection rates were starting to decline when lockdowns were imposed; scientific evidence shows a majority of people already have built-in protection against the virus due to cross-reactive T cell immunity, and the PCR test cannot be used to identify an active infection with SARS-CoV-2 or any other virus
- While mortality statistics during the pandemic have been within the norms of any given year, meaning the pandemic has not resulted in an excess number of deaths or a death toll higher than normal, the collateral damage from pandemic response measures is nearly incalculable
NOTE TO SELF- The video for this is saved offline at => 22_7 C\Users\User_Admin\dwhelper and is called: Coronavirus Fraud Scandal - The Biggest Fight Has Just Begun)
The Video ref above - by Dr. Reiner Fuellmich5 is long, (see orig. link at bottom) but I strongly recommend listening to it in its entirety. Fuellmich has been a consumer protection trial lawyer in California and Germany6 for 26 years and is one of four founding members of the German Corona Extra-Parliamentary Inquiry Committee (Außerparlamentarischer Corona Untersuchungsausschuss7),8,9 launched July 10, 2020.
The other three founding members, all lawyers, are Viviane Fischer, Antonia Fischer and Justus P. Hoffmann, Ph.D.10 Fuellmich is heading up the committee's corona crisis tort case. All meetings are live-streamed and available on the Committee's YouTube channel11 (at least for now).
According to Fuellmich, an international class-action lawsuit will be filed against those responsible for implementing the economically devastating lockdowns around the world, as well as using fraudulent testing to engineer the appearance of a dangerous pandemic.
This includes everyone from local policy makers all the way to the World Health Organization and drug companies. He claims more than 50 other countries will be following suit.
"I have been practicing law primarily as a trial lawyer against fraudulent corporations such as Deutsche bank, formerly one of the world's largest and most respected banks, today one of the most toxic criminal organizations in the world;
VW, one of the world's largest and most respected car manufacturers, today notorious for its giant diesel fraud; and Cunard and Niagara the world's largest shipping company. We're suing them in a multi-million-dollar bribery case," Fuellmich says.
"All the above-mentioned cases of corruption and fraud committed by the German corporations pale in comparison in view of the extent of the damage that the corona crisis has caused and continues to cause. This corona crisis, according to all we know today, must be renamed a corona scandal; and those responsible for it must be criminally prosecuted and sued for civil damages."
Exposing Corrupt Agendas
Fuellmich stresses that, on a political level, all-out efforts must be made to ensure "that no one will ever again be in a position of such power as to be able to defraud humanity, or to attempt to manipulate us with their corrupt agendas."
To that end, the Corona Extra-Parliamentary Inquiry Committee will be working with an international network of lawyers to argue the most massive tort case ever — a case Fuellmich describes as "probably the greatest crime against humanity ever committed."
As explained by Fuellmich, crimes against humanity, first defined during the Nuremberg trials following World War II, are today regulated in Section 7 of the International Criminal Code. The three questions the committee seeks to answer through judicial means are: 1.Is there a COVID-19 pandemic or is there only a polymerase chain reaction (PCR) test pandemic?
Specifically, does a positive PCR test result mean that the individual is infected with SARS-CoV-2 and has COVID-19, or does it mean absolutely nothing in connection with the COVID-19 infection? 2.Do pandemic response measures such as lockdowns, mask mandates, social distancing and quarantine regulations serve to protect the world's population from COVID-19, or do these measures serve only to make people panic?
Are these measures intended to sow "panic in order to make people believe, without asking any questions, that their lives are in danger, so that the pharmaceutical and tech industries can generate huge profits from the sale of PCR tests, antigen and antibody tests and vaccines, as well as the harvesting of our genetic fingerprints?" 3.Is it true that the German government was massively lobbied — more so than any other country — by the chief protagonists of this COVID-19 pandemic?
According to Fuellmich, Germany "is known as a particularly disciplined country and was therefore to become a role model for the rest of the world for its strict and, of course, successful adherence" to pandemic measures.
Answers to these questions are urgently needed, he says, because SARS-CoV-2, which is touted as one of the most serious threats to life in modern history, "has not caused any excess mortality anywhere in the world."
Pandemic measures, on the other hand, have "caused the loss of innumerable human lives, and have destroyed the economic existence of countless companies and individuals worldwide," Fuellmich says.
He points out that in Australia, residents are now thrown into prison if they do not comply with mask rules, and in the Philippines, people can be shot dead if they defy lockdown orders or don't wear a mask.12,13 During the first week of April 2020, Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte announced he would "not hesitate" to kill anyone challenging his pandemic restrictions:14,15
"I will not hesitate. My orders are to the police and military, as well as village officials, if there is any trouble, or occasions where there's violence and your lives are in danger, shoot them dead.
Is that understood? Dead. Instead of causing trouble, I will bury you. Do not intimidate the government. Do not challenge the government. You will lose," Duterte said.
This hardly seems to be a strategy aimed at preserving life. Fuellmich goes on to present "the facts as they present themselves," based on expert testimony collected by the committee so far.
The German Congress on Global Health
According to Fuellmich, in May 2019, and again in early 2020, the Christian Democratic Union (CDU) of Germany held a congress on global health. In addition to political leaders, including Mr. Tedros Adhanom, head of the WHO, and German health officials, speeches were also given by chief lobbyists of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation and the Wellcome Trust.
"Less than a year later these very people called the shots in the proclamation of the worldwide corona pandemic, made sure that mass PCR tests were used to prove mass infections with COVID-19 all over the world, and are now pushing for vaccines to be invented and sold worldwide," Fuellmich says.
"These infections, or rather the positive test results that the PCR tests delivered, in turn became the justification for worldwide lockdowns, social distancing and mandatory face masks."
He also points out that the very definition of "pandemic" was altered 12 years ago. Originally, a pandemic was defined as a disease that spread worldwide, resulting in widespread serious illness and deaths. Twelve years ago, the definition was changed to reflect a disease that spreads worldwide only. "Many serious illnesses and many deaths were not required anymore, to announce a pandemic," he says.
The Swine Flu Pandemic That Wasn't
This change to the definition of a pandemic is what allowed the WHO to declare the swine flu a pandemic in June 2009,16 which resulted in the sale of many millions of dollars of fast-tracked swine flu vaccines. Within months, cases of disability and death from the H1N1 vaccine
were reported in various parts of the world.
In the aftermath, the Council of Europe Parliamentary Assembly (PACE) questioned the WHO's handling of the pandemic. In June 2010, PACE concluded "the handling of the pandemic by the World Health Organization (WHO), EU health agencies and national governments led to a 'waste of large sums of public money, and unjustified scares and fears about the health risks faced by the European public.'"17
Specifically, PACE concluded there was "overwhelming evidence that the seriousness of the pandemic was vastly overrated by WHO," and that the drug industry had influenced the organization's decision-making.
A joint investigation by the British Medical Journal and the Bureau of Investigative Journalism (BIJ) also uncovered serious conflicts of interest between the WHO — which promoted the global vaccination agenda — and the drug companies that created those vaccines.18 As noted by Fuellmich:
"These vaccines proved to be completely unnecessary because the swine flu eventually turned out to be a mild flu and never became the horrific plague that the pharmaceutical industry and its affiliated universities kept announcing it would turn into, with millions of deaths certain to happen, if people didn't get vaccinated.
These vaccines also led to serious health problems: about 700 children in Europe fell incurably ill with narcolepsy and are now forever severely disabled. The vaccines bought with millions of taxpayers' money had to be destroyed, with even more taxpayers' money."
The Virologist Responsible for Germany's Lockdown Orders
One of the characters that drummed up panic in 2009 with his doomsday prophesies was German virologist Christian Drosten, head of the Institute of Virology at the University of Bonn Medical Centre, best known for developing the first diagnostic test for SARS in 2003. He also developed a diagnostic test for the swine flu.19
Drosten spoke at the 2019 CDU congress on global health, and according to Fuellmich, when it came time to decide on a response for COVID-19, the German government relied on the opinion of Drosten alone.
"In an outrageous violation of the universally accepted principle audiator at ultra parse, which means that one must also hear the other side, the only person they listened to was Mr. Drosten, that is, the very person whose horrific panic-inducing prognosis had proved to be catastrophically false 12 years earlier," Fuellmich says.
Meanwhile, many "highly renowned scientists" painted a completely different picture of the COVID-19 pandemic. Among them, professor John Ioannidis of Stanford University in California; professor Michael Levitt, a biophysicist at Stanford University and Nobel prize winner for chemistry; German professors Karin Mulling, Sucharit Bhakdi, Klud Wittkowski and Stefan Homburg.
Dr. Mike Yeadon, former vice president and scientific director of Pfizer, is also on this list. Yeadon recently went on record stating "there is no science to suggest a second wave should happen," and that false positive results from unreliable PCR tests are being used to "manufacture a 'second wave' based on 'new cases.'"20
"They assumed, and still do assume, that there was no disease that went beyond the gravity of the seasonal flu; that the population had already acquired cross or T-cell immunity against this allegedly new virus; and that there was therefore no reason for any special measures and certainly not for vaccinations," Fuellmich says.
He also quotes21 from a scientific paper published in September 2020 by Yeadon and colleagues, in which they state:
"We're basing our government policy, our economic policy and the policy of restricting fundamental rights presumably on completely wrong data and assumptions about the coronavirus. If it weren't for the test results that are constantly reported in the media, the pandemic would be over, because nothing really happened."
Commenting on "the current, actual situation regarding the virus's danger; the complete uselessness of PCR tests for the detection of infections; and the lockdowns based on nonexistent infections," Fuellmich states:
"We know that the health care systems were never in danger of becoming overwhelmed by COVID-19. On the contrary, many hospitals remain empty to this day and some are now facing bankruptcy. The hospital ship Comfort which anchored in New York at the time, and could have accommodated a thousand patients, never accommodated more than some 20 patients.
Nowhere was there any excess mortality. Studies carried out by Professor Ioannidis and others have shown that the mortality of corona is equivalent to that of the seasonal flu; even the pictures from Bergamo and New York that were used to demonstrate to the world that panic was in order proved to be deliberately misleading.
Then, the so-called 'panic paper' was leaked which was written by the German Department of the Interior. Its classified content shows beyond a shadow of a doubt that in fact the population was deliberately driven to panic by politicians and mainstream media.
The accompanying irresponsible statements of the head of the RKI, remember the CDC, Mr. Wieler who repeatedly and excitedly announced that the corona measures must be followed unconditionally by the population, without them asking any question shows that he followed the script verbatim.
In his public statements, he kept announcing that the situation was very grave and threatening although the figures compiled by his own institute proved the exact opposite. Among other things, the panic paper calls for children to be made to feel responsible, and I quote, 'for the painful tortured death of their parents and grandparents if they do not follow the corona rules.'"
Fuellmich goes on to cite data showing that in Bergamo, Italy, 94% of deaths were not the result of COVID-19 infection spreading wild but, rather, the consequence of the government's decision to transfer sick patients from hospitals to nursing homes, where they spread infection — colds, flu and SARS-CoV-2 — among the old and frail.
This was also done by New York Governor Andrew Cuomo,22 in direct violation of federal guidelines,23 as well as in Minnesota, Ohio,24 Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Michigan and California.25 Fuellmich also points out the routine malpractice that occurred in some New York hospitals
, where all suspected COVID-19 patients were placed on mechanical ventilation, which turned out to be a death sentence.
"Again, to clarify, COVID-19 … is a dangerous disease, just like the seasonal flu is a dangerous disease, and of course COVID-19, just like the seasonal flu, may sometimes take a severe clinical course and will sometimes kill patients," Fuellmich says.
"However, as autopsies have shown, which were carried out in Germany, in particular by the forensic scientist Professor Klaus Püschel in Hamburg, the fatalities he examined had almost all been caused by serious pre-existing conditions and almost all of the people who had died, had died at a very old age, just like in Italy, meaning they had lived beyond their average life expectancy.
In this context, the following should also be mentioned: the German RKI, that is again the equivalent of the CDC, had initially, strangely enough, recommended that no autopsies be performed and there are numerous credible reports that doctors and hospitals worldwide had been paid money for declaring a deceased person a victim of COVID-19 rather than writing down the true cause of death on the death certificate, for example a heart attack or a gunshot wound.
Without the autopsies, we would never know that the overwhelming majority of the alleged COVID-19 victims had died of completely different diseases but not of COVID-19."
Lockdowns Were and Are Unnecessary
Based on the expert testimony collected so far by Fuellmich and his colleagues, lockdowns were unnecessary, and any claim to the contrary is wrong. The three reasons for this are:
To the politicians, who believe those corrupt people, these facts are hereby offered as a lifeline, that can help you readjust your course of action and start the long overdue public scientific discussion and not go down with those charlatans and criminals. ~ Dr. Reiner Fuellmich
- Lockdowns were imposed at a time when the virus was already in retreat and infection rates were starting to decline
- Scientific evidence shows a majority of people already have built-in protection against the virus due to cross-reactive T cell immunity from exposure to cold and flu viruses26,27,28,29,30,31,32,33,34,35
- The PCR test — which is being used as a gauge of infection rates and a justification for restrictive measures — "do not give any indication of an infection with any virus let alone an infection with SARS-CoV-2"
The PCR Test Fraud
First of all, the PCR test have not been approved for diagnostic purposes. Its inventor, Kary Mullis, has repeatedly yet unsuccessfully stressed that this test should not be used as a diagnostic tool. As noted by Fuellmich:
"[PCR tests] are simply incapable of diagnosing any disease ... A positive PCR test result does not mean that an infection is present. If someone tests positive, it does not mean that they're infected with anything, let alone with the contagious SARS-CoV-2 virus. Even the United States CDC … agrees with this and I quote directly from page 38 of one of its publications on the coronavirus and the PCR tests dated July 13 2020:36
- Detection of viral RNA may not indicate the presence of infectious virus or that 2019-nCoV is the causative agent for clinical symptoms.
- The performance of this test has not been established for monitoring treatment of 2019-nCoV infection.
- This test cannot rule out diseases caused by other bacterial or viral pathogens.
The PCR swabs take one or two sequences of a molecule that are invisible to the human eye and therefore need to be amplified in many cycles to make it visible. Everything over 35 cycles is … considered completely unreliable and scientifically unjustifiable.
However, the Drosten test as well as the WHO recommended tests … are set to 45 cycles. Can that be because of the desire to produce as many positive results as possible and thereby provide the basis for the false assumption that a large number of infections have been detected?"
Equally important is the fact that PCR tests cannot distinguish between inactive viruses and "live" or reproductive ones. As a result, they may pick up dead debris or inactive viral particles that pose no risk whatsoever to the patient and others. What's more, the test can pick up the presence of other coronaviruses, so a positive result may simply indicate that you've recuperated from a common cold in the past.
"Even Drosten himself declared in an interview with a German business magazine in 2014 … that these PCR tests are so highly sensitive that even very healthy and non-infectious people may test positive," Fuellmich notes.
"In my view, it is completely implausible that [Drosten] forgot in 2020 what he knew about the PCR tests and told the business magazine in 2014. In short, this test cannot detect any infection, contrary to all false claims stating that it can.
An infection, a so-called hot infection, requires that the virus … penetrates into the cells, replicates there and causes symptoms such as headaches or a sore throat. Only then is a person really infected, in the sense of a hot infection; because only then is a person contagious, that is, able to infect others.
Until then it is completely harmless for both the host and all other people that the host comes into contact with … A number of highly respected scientists worldwide assume that there has never been a corona pandemic but only a PCR test pandemic …
Dr. Yeadon, in agreement with the professors of immunology, Camera from Germany, Capel from the Netherlands and Cahill from Ireland as well as a microbiologist, Dr. Harvey from Austria, all of whom testified before the German corona committee, explicitly points out that a positive test does not mean that an intact virus has been found."
In the September 20, 2020 article37 "Lies, Damned Lies and Health Statistics — The Deadly Danger of False Positives," Yeadon details the problems with basing our pandemic response on positive PCR tests.
In summary, the PCR test simply measures the presence of partial DNA sequences that are present in a virus, but it cannot tell us whether that virus is active or inactive. Chances are, if you have no symptoms, a positive test simply means it has detected inactive viral DNA in your body. This would also mean that you are not contagious.
While mortality statistics during the pandemic have been within the norms of any given year,38,39 meaning the pandemic has not resulted in an excess number of deaths or a death toll higher than normal, the collateral damage from pandemic response measures is nearly incalculable. Public health, both physical and mental, as well as the global economy, have all suffered tremendous blows.
Fuellmich cites yet another leaked document written by a German official in the Department of the Interior, dubbed "the False Alarm paper,"40,41 which concludes that there's no evidence to suggest SARS-CoV-2 posed a serious health risk for the population, at least the danger is no greater than that of many other viruses, while pandemic measures have "manifold" and "grave" consequences.
"This, he concludes, will lead to very high claims for damages, which the government will be held responsible for. This has now become reality but the paper's author was suspended," Fuellmich says.
"More and more scientists, but also lawyers, recognize that as a result of the deliberate panic-mongering and the corona measures enabled by this panic, democracy is in great danger of being replaced by fascist totalitarian models …
According to psychologists and psychotherapists who testified before the corona committee, children are traumatized en masse, with the worst psychological consequences yet to be expected in the medium and long term.
In Germany alone, 500,000 to 800,000 bankruptcies are expected in the fall to strike small and medium-sized businesses which form the backbone of the economy. This will result in incalculable tax losses and incalculably high and long-term social security money transfers for, among other things, unemployment benefits."
In closing, Fuellmich reviews the legal consequences that are currently underway. This includes looking at the constitutionality of the measures. He notes:
"Very recently, a judge, Torsten Schleife … declared publicly that the German judiciary, just like the general public has been so panic-stricken that it was no longer able to administer justice properly. He says that the courts of law, and I quote:
'Have all too quickly waved through coercive measures which for millions of people all over Germany represent massive suspensions of their constitutional rights.' He points out that German citizens, again I quote:
'Are currently experiencing the most serious encroachment on their constitutional rights since the founding of the Federal Republic of Germany in 1949. In order to contain the corona pandemic federal and state governments have intervened,' he says, 'massively and in part threatening the very existence of the country, as it is guaranteed by the constitutional rights of the people.'"
Then there are the issues of fraud, intentional infliction of damage and crimes against humanity. According to Fuellmich, there's evidence showing a range of falsehoods and misrepresentations of facts have purposely been circulated, such that, based on the rules of criminal law, "it can only be assessed as fraud," and "based on the rules of civil tort law, this translates into intentional infliction of damage."
"The German professor of civil law, Martin Schwab, supports this finding in public interviews in a comprehensive legal opinion of around 180 pages. He has familiarized himself with the subject matter like no other legal scholar has done thus far and in particular has provided a detailed account of the complete failure of the mainstream media to report on the true facts of this so-called pandemic," Fuellmich says.
"Under the rules of civil tort law, all those who have been harmed by these PCR tests, PCR tests induced lockdowns are entitled to receive full compensation for their losses. In particular, there is a duty to compensate, that is, a duty to pay damages, for the loss of profits suffered by companies and self-employed persons as a result of the lockdown, and other measures.
In the meantime, however, the anti-corona measures have caused and continue to cause such devastating damage to the world's population's health and economy that the crimes committed by Messrs Drosten, Wieler and the WHO must be legally qualified as actual crimes against humanity, as defined in Section 7 of the International Criminal Code."
To address these grievances, the German Corona Extra-Parliamentary Inquiry Committee is prepared to file a class-action lawsuit — a legal remedy available in the U.S. and Canada — against the responsible parties.
"It should be emphasized that nobody must join the class action, but every injured party can join the class action," Fuellmich explains. "The advantage of the class action is that only one trial is needed, namely, to try the complaint of a representative plaintiff who is affected in a manner typical of everyone else in the class."
Such a lawsuit would also open the door to pretrial discovery, which requires all relevant evidence to be presented to the other party. Destruction or withholding evidence has serious consequences, as "the party withholding or … destroying evidence loses the case under these evidence rules."
In Germany, a group of tort lawyers have already started the process of disseminating information and legal forms, and estimating damages among German plaintiffs. Fuellmich concludes his announcement explaining how the lawsuit will proceed from here:
"Initially, this group of lawyers had considered to also collect and manage the claims for damages of other non-German plaintiffs but this proved to be unmanageable.
However, through an international lawyers' network, which is growing larger by the day, the German group of attorneys provides to all of their colleagues, in all other countries, free of charge, all relevant information, including expert opinions and testimonies of experts showing that the PCR tests cannot detect infections and they also provide them with all relevant information as to how they can prepare and bundle the claims for damages of their clients so that they too can assert their clients claims for damages either in their home countries, courts of law, or within the framework of the class action as explained above …
To the politicians, who believe those corrupt people, these facts are hereby offered as a lifeline, that can help you readjust your course of action and start the long overdue public scientific discussion and not go down with those charlatans and criminals."
==== Sources =====
- 1 Orwell1984366490226.wordpress.com October 5, 2020
- 2, 21 Age of Autism Reiner Fuellmich Crimes Against Humanity Transcript
- 3 Internationalfreepress.com October 6, 2020
- 4 Nexus Newsfeed Reiner Fuellmich Crimes Against Humanity Transcript
- 5 Fuellmich.com, Dr. Reiner Fuellmich Bio (German)
- 6 Fuellmich.com
- 7 Acu2020.org Außerparlamentarischer Corona Untersuchungsausschuss
- 8 Acu2020.org Corona Extra-Parliamentary Inquiry Committee, English
- 9 Algora October 4, 2020
- 10 Ecoterrra.info, Corona Committee of Inquiry Seeks the Truth, July 1, 2020
- 11 YouTube Stiftung Corona-Ausschuss channel
- 12, 14 CBS April 2, 2020
- 13 Aljazeera April 5, 2020
- 15 Newsweek April 2, 2020
- 16 CDC.gov June 11, 2009
- 17 Assembly.coe.int June 24, 2010
- 18 Natural Society February 23, 2014
- 19 Nature April 30, 2009
- 20 The Huntingtonian October 6, 2020
- 22 New York Post April 23, 2020
- 23, 25 Breitbart June 22, 2020
- 24 MPR News June 12, 2020
- 26 Cell June 25, 2020; 181(7): 1489-1501.E1530610-3#.XtUNRAVlzFA.twitter)
- 27 Wall Street Journal June 12, 2020 (Archived)
- 28 Nature Immunology September 30, 2020 DOI: 10.1038/s41590-020-00808-x
- 29 The Lancet Microbe September 4, 2020 DOI: 10.1016/S2666-5247(20)30114-230114-2/fulltext)
- 30 UPI September 4, 2020
- 31 Nature July 15, 2020; 584: 457-462
- 32 Daily Mail June 12, 2020
- 33 Science Times June 12, 2020
- 34 Cell October 1, 2020; 183(1): 158-168.E1431008-4?_returnURL=https%3A%2F%2Flinkinghub.elsevier.com%2Fretrieve%2Fpii%2FS0092867420310084%3Fshowall%3Dtrue)
- 35 BBC July 1, 2020
- 36 CDC 2019 Novel Coronavirus RT-PCR Diagnostic Panel July 13, 2020 (PDF), Page 38
- 37 Lockdownskeptics September 20, 2020
- 38 YouTube, SARS-CoV-2 and the rise of medical technocracy, Lee Merritt, MD, aprox 8 minutes in (Lie No. 1: Death Risk)
- 39 Technical Report June 2020 DOI: 10.13140/RG.2.24350.77125
- 40 Strategic Culture Foundation May 29, 2020
- 41 Global Research June 12, 2020
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2020.10.17 16:26 eternalchild16 Dating apps: wtf?! (Vent)
I’ve been attempting to find someone to date. My life mainly consists of— work, parenting, household chores, homeschool and homeschool groups, biweekly volunteer work (currently all virtual), taking my kiddo and dog camping/hiking/walking/biking/swimming/kayaking weekly or biweekly, and now going to the gym a few days per week (just joined 2 weeks ago & can only do 1 houday of childcare). No part of my regular life gives me a good time to find available potential dates. Because of all that, I’ve turned to dating apps in order to find someone to go on a date with when I can finagle extra childcare.
The first word in my profile is “mama” (because its a hard no for some and influences the majority of my life), I have it listed that I’m liberal (I am politically active, I volunteer for an abortion fund and my future life plans involve “liberal” things), and I have it listed that my religious preference is “other” (I don’t believe in a personified god figure and my beliefs about existence greatly influence my life goals and how I interact with the world).....but I have men who have “liked” me and start their profile by saying they don’t date single moms, men who state they’re looking for “a real traditional lady” or some misogynistic bs, men who list themselves as political conservative Christians, and a variety of other things that seem wildly incompatible with me. I’m basically just frustrated that even if I’m just going through “likes” it’s all left swipes! Why???
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2020.10.16 19:36 creamsiclecrunch I dated a neckbeard-cel who fancied himself as Christian Grey PART 1
Hi everyone! I don't know how I haven't come across this sub sooner. I've been reading it for a few days now, and so many of these tales reminded me of my own encounter with a neckbeard, (probably more incel) so here goes. It's gunna be a long one.
The year is late 2018, and I have freshly turned 25, gotten out of a long term relationship. It wasn't healthy for either of us, and I was looking forward to start my new life as a single woman in the PNW.
I spent a lot more time on reddit at that point. Nothing dirty, but casual chat with a lot of people as well as roleplay. I used to roleplay A LOT and now with my new freedom, I was ready to pick that up again. I mostly stuck with anime, but at that point I ventured in to Marvel RP. I don't want to brag, but I am a very good roleplay partner, and as my fellow RPer's know, it can be hard to find a partner that matches your ability. After a few weeks of searching, I get a message on Kik ( primitive, I know) from who we will call Christian.
Christian and I plan out or roleplay stories, our characters, ect and get things" going. Now when I'm RPing, I really like to get to know my partner. Every long term RP partner I've had we've become friends, and some I still talk to years later on a regular basis long after the roleplay has ended.
I get to know Christian a bit, and looking back I looked over so many disturbing red flags. The moment Christian and I started speaking, he made it known that he was a brain cancer survivor. I won't EVER berate a person for speaking about their illness, but Christian made it a VERY prominent part of his conversations. At the time I just thought it was okay, he's going through something, and it's not like it's a topic most people can relate to, so I listened and helped him as much as I could. Christian lived with his parents after losing his job when the company he worked for shut down, and due to him having surgery recently he couldn't go back to work right away, which made sense. Christian was a programmer and managed to start his own small business. He didn't make enough to live on his own yet, but enough to get by. You gotta do what you gotta do, and I was happy he had some sense of self starter-ship.
I let Christian know that I was recently out of a long term relationship, working full time, university full time, had friends and family nearby and that I was a pretty active person, always on the go. We bonded over MTG, Marvel, creature lore, art, ya know, nerd shit.
Over the course of a few weeks Christian started talking more....depressed? than usual. Just down on himself, his illness (which he seemed to be making a full recovery from) and his looks, and how no woman would love him. Long story short, his wife cheated on him and left him some time ago. I fell for that trap, telling him he couldn't look too bad, and being someone who used to be very down about herself on their looks, I related. Christian sent me a picture of himself. He was pale, thin, scruffy red beard. He didn't have the weight and fedroa of a regular neckbeard, but he was definitely geeky looking. Honestly, not attractive, but whatever. I told him he wasn't bad looking, and he was still down on himself, and he asked me for a picture, so I sent one. Now that I'm older and have some maturity, I can say I am very pretty and am WAY out of Christian's league. But after that pic was sent, the downfall started. I need to mention that Christian was 34 or 35 at the time, I can't remember, so roughly 10-11 years older than me. Legal, but too old for me to consider dating. But from then on, Christian proceeded to slowly and calculatingly guilt me into dating him. Some of the comments he made went like this:
"You're beautiful, I bet so many guys your age are interested in you...but that doesn't include me"
"If I were younger I'd treat you like a guy should, but again that's not a possibility"
"In another lifetime we could have been together, but sadly this is my reality"
"I'm a good man, I wish you'd give me a chance, but I won't pressure you."
Now, I don't know 100% why I did it. I know partially it's because I had mostly negative male figures in my life. My dad was the greatest man of all time, but died when I was six. My mom is also a good woman, but after my dad passed, she fell hard and dated very abusive men. That on top of dealing with frequent verbal and sometimes sexual assault from the men in my mom's church, I didn't really know how a good man was actually supposed to be. My ex wasn't a bad man, but he was a man-child and that was ultimately the fall of our relationship.
So against my better judgment, I caved and started dating Christian after a long late night conversation. I was excited in the moment, but my gut was churning for some reason I couldn't identify. I think the only saving grace to this "relationship" was that Christian lived in another state, so it was an online one.
Things went well the first week or so. We talked most nights on video chat and started getting to know each other better. Then at some point I mentioned I needed to get my hair recolored. At the time, my hair was white. Not grey but white as paper, and the upkeep was pretty frequent. I wanted to change a bit and go for a more steel grey, so I was going through colors online with Christian. Out of the blue he just straight up told me:
"The white isn't flattering against your skin color, you're too dark to pull it off. You need something more muted and darker." I thought he would end there but the onslaught of demeaning remarks about my skin color and how I was "too dark for x hair color continued" Now I'm black. I'm on the darker side, but I consider myself fairly "medium" on the scale. I firmly believe anyone can do whatever they want with their hair. Whether you're as pale as ever or as dark as they get, there's a hair color in every shade for everyone, and more importantly do what makes you happy. I'm somewhat racially ambiguous sometimes being mistaken for Indian or darker toned Asian, but I have had my fair share of racist comments ranging from black, Indian, etc. and typically they don't bother me AT all. But what Christian said really struck me. It wasn't just a racist comment, it was a full on pummeling about me being too dark for thing. I NEVER cry, especially in front of a man, but I was now full on sobbing on this skype call. Just WHAT the fuck was this man thinking?! Christian looked shocked, and asked me what was wrong? I asked him why on earth would he say such horrible things to me, and he came back with what would be his trademark response to when he said cut throat things:
"I didn't mean it that way! You just misunderstood me." And somehow, Christian became the victim. And for some reason, somehow, I left it as a "misunderstanding" He then showed me hair colors and styles he deemed appropriate for my skin tone. They were all various shades of red, from unnatural to natural. Thankfully I chose not to do red (had a red phase, done with that by then) and I later learned he had a FETISH for redheads.
Eventually Christian comes to visit me for the first time, and it lasted about a week. I have to say it was fairly uneventful, and was actually okay. We went to a couple of events and had a nice dinner at a restaurant. It was all fun and games until he had to leave for home. At the time I lived about two hours from the airport, and to get him there we agreed on a set time to leave, as you do. I get up my said time, do a few things around the house and get ready. Christian is not to be seen, he's still asleep. I go to get him, and he snaps at me. Hard. I don't remember the exact exchange but I do recall him calling me a "nagging bitch" and him saying "he knows what he's doing" and lies back down. I didn't have any other plans that day, it's finals, so fine by me, miss your fucking flight. I go to my computer to do some class work, and roughly an hour and a half later Christian is getting around and packing up his things. I know that plane is going to be long gone well before we get to the airport, but I go anyways, maybe he can book another flight for later. The drive wasn't too bad and we get there well after the plane is gone, but Christian does his best. I drive off to go get lunch in the city, maybe hit up the comic book shop I like and then get home for more classwork. I find the (one free) parking garage at the airport to get my bearings and look up a few places to go, make a phone call and check some notes on my school app, when my phone rings. It's Christian and I think we can all predict how the call went.
"Can you come get me? I missed my flight" The worst part was how upset and SHOCKED he was. If I couldn't hold my tongue, I would have laughed out loud. He said they could put him on another flight in about 5 hours. Okay no biggie, I've spent overnight in airports before. But he didn't want to wait, he wanted me to come get him. Now I was exhausted, starving, and just ready to go on about my day. I had an assignment I really needed to finish and wanted to go home and get on that. I let him know I had work to do and his response was.
"Well shouldn't you have brought your laptop? This one is kind of on you." WHAT THE FUCK. How is this ON me?!?! I was still at the airport but why couldn't this grown ass man just sit and wait on his next flight? For some reason, I agreed and we went to go get lunch together and just talked and walked around some areas of the city. I cannot describe how painful it was, I just wanted him out of my (still white) hair, even if I couldn't admit it to myself at the time. This time he was perfectly pleasant at least, and then he dropped the dumbest comment.
"I guess next time we should just have you do the planning for the airport huh? I was a little off on my time" Guys I could have smacked this man. I just blinked at him, not believing the dribble that he just spat out. ARE YOU KIDDING ME GUY? First I'm bad at scheduling even though we would have been on POINT if we left at the time I originally said. But now it's not my fault and he just made a little blip in scheduling.
I take him back to the airport (on time) and thankfully off he goes.
I think that's enough for this installment. I have at least one more (possibly two) I can go through. He doesn't seem very neckbeardy/incel at the moment, but trust me we will get to that...as well as to why we are calling him Christian Grey.
TL;DR: I start an online relationship with a neckbeard who has no concept of time and says my skin is too dark.
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2020.10.16 04:31 VeryCarefully1973 How to become interested in other girls?
When I was in high school I was totally blue pilled (all the way to supporting Bernie Sanders for a little bit there). It had to do with me growing up mostly without a father figure and with all female cousins, aunts, and 4 sisters. I was promised to have it easy with girls lmfao they all gave me advice to just be nice to girls I'm interested in and give them attention and that would lead to a relationship. What a crock of shit that was. I homeschooled from the middle of 5th grade to a couple months into freshman year so I was incredibly shy on top of having wicked acne and incredibly crooked teeth. Anyways, my first day of HS I met this one girl we'll call PB. I completely orbited her while she would go from begging me to be around her again to not even acknowledging my presence (ya know, just normal psycho bitch shit) until she kicked me to the curb two years later in September 2017 to be with someone else and actually date him. At first I was okay with it because she had been a bitch to me consistently for a while. I tried being happy for her, I tried to ignore her, I muted her social media so it wouldn't come back on my time line but wouldn't give her the satisfaction of knowing how much she pissed me off if I had outright blocked her. The thing is, ever since her I have had absolutely no motivation to be with anyone else. I know I pretty much have oneitis. Fortunately I've used this to my advantage mostly with motivating me to be better. Lift, exercise, get a good job, drive a nice car, get my skin under control, get braces, working to get into a good school after my HS grades went into the shitter because of bullshit family issues/being severely depressed, etc. But that motivation is pretty much solely centered around me being with her one day. Anyways, I have approached women since then but it's been with a 100% rejection rate except for the one I met on a Christian dating app who stood me up after what I thought was a really good first date (oh well). I think my rejection rate has something to do with how I just don't have any passion behind my actions when I ask them out or try to escalate. I just don't feel a spark with any girls really. I kissed the one girl on our date and she was grinding on me but my brain's chemistry was the equivalent of watching golf when you're six years old (which may have been the reason why I got stood up but idk lmfao I know I did a million things wrong RP wise on that date but stupidly thought she would be different because she's a traditional Christian) . There's just no spark ever whatsoever with anyone ever and it makes it incredibly difficult to pursue women. Anyways sorry for the rambling brain dump I'm just basically wondering how the hell can I get over this girl already and have enough feelings to be motivated to even touch another girl
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2020.10.16 04:26 kt-joe I need to vent about my ex..
First of all, I must admit to the mistakes that I have made before I blast my ex’s to the internet. I grew up in a Christian household, I stayed celibate until I was married. My husband and I had a great relationship for a long while, but I was very young and we hadn’t been together long before marrying. I had a lot of my own issues with conflict and we practically never fought. It’s not that nothing ever bothered me, I just didn’t know how to voice my thoughts, I struggled with a lot of anxiety and depression and internalization. Obviously, bitterness and resentment began to build up inside me. I was also very disappointed in our sex life, 3.5 yrs of marriage with no orgasms isn’t so fun. Sex wasn’t fun, it always hurt, and I didn’t like having sex with him, and that hurt his feelings. A lot. I felt bad, but I didn’t know how to fix that. There were a lot of things wrong in our relationship, I kept a lot of thoughts and feelings from him and never truly trusted him with all of me. I grew very depressed and I cheated on him with a boy I had always liked from grade school, we had a little bit of history but never dated as kids. After the first night, I don’t think I had ever cried so hard at that point in my life.. after everything was discovered (obviously it would be discovered because I fell into a terribly apparent depression, hated myself, I completely changed with this horrible secret I was trying to keep) the hell that ensued for my ex-husband, his family, my family, our friends, and myself was unbearable. That’s the most selfish and heartless thing I’ve ever done in my life. It seemed everybody knew, and everybody hated me, and I didn’t blame them for it. The only person I had was this man I had cheated with. And I fell hard for him. I struggled with alcoholism for a long while until I finally asked for forgiveness from my ex-husband and his family and learned how to forgive myself. Over the years I trusted this man I had cheated on my husband with with everything. Every thought. Every fear. And he trusted me. I’d never felt so cared for and adored and loved. I’d never had someone I gave myself to so completely and with absolute acceptance. Sex was amazing, I never knew such bliss.
I learn pretty quickly about his porn habits: every day. Well, more than that, really. 3 times a day may be more accurate... so I voice my concern. I meet resistance. I ask, “If we ever live together, would you give up porn then?” He tells me no, but in a gentle-ish way. He has his excuses about men and their nature, a man’s need for variety, but he doesn’t want to cheat on me so he does this. I should have made clear then that wasn’t ok with me, but I was still very quiet and a natural peacemaker.. I just end up hurting and trying to cope with the porn addiction he had. However, the topic of porn came up in our relationship MANY times. It’s not like this was the first time. I found nasty magazines, I asked him to throw them away. He did, but a few years later brings up how difficult that was for him. He follows IG “models” and likes their photos while I’m at the laundry mat. We fight and tell him to delete all those girls, don’t like their photos, IG is social media and everyone can see what he does on there. He agrees, but a few months later starts following a few accounts again.. We have a raging fight about it, and I call him out hard for knowingly crossing a boundary I set. After we live together, he develops a pattern of leaving me in bed on Saturday mornings to go lay in the middle of the living room and jerk off. He didn’t know I knew this for a long time. I held it in my pocket for a while before I threw it in his face when I eventually left..
About a year into us being together, I discover him texting an ex-girlfriend, and the texts were not just friendly. He refers to the blowjobs she used to give him and tells her she should post pics more on IG, he misses her. The first words he hears from me after I discover these text, and I can feel his heart sink as I say the words, are “Who’s Jenna?” He knows that I know what he’s said to her while I was out of state, he figures his best strategy is to fess up and apologize, let me know what scum he is for doing that, nothing like this will ever happen again, because to risk us would be his gravest mistake. I warned that I would leave: “betray me again, I’m gone.” I had these thoughts: I have done worse, I have repented, I have hope in myself that I have changed and will not repeat mistakes, I will not live through that hell again. I can have hope that this man that I love so dearly and whom I know loves me will do the same for me. He sings me to sleep, caressing my face, adoring me with every ounce of his being.
2 yrs jn and we’re living together. Life is beautiful. But suddenly, he keeps staying up till 1 or 2 in the morning. I get suspicious. While he’s napping I check his phone. He’s really good at hiding things at this point: there are no weird apps, no texts, no DMs, no photos. I check the “deleted photos” folder. Bingo. There are photos he’s taken screenshots of men and women with a watermark of some chat room app, and then there is a photo of himself, laying in our bed on my quilt, hard as a rock with my dresser, my mirror, and my scarves in the background hanging on the door with the same chatroom’s watermark on it. Who has looked at this photo? What strangers? Who is looking at what is mine? And who has he been talking to and looking at? I’m boiling. I text the photo to myself, delete the text from his phone, and save the photo to my album. I wake him up from his nap and he smiles real big at me, eyes full of love, says “Hey baby!” in his raspy sleepy voice and tries to enfold me into his arms. I push away, and concern marks his face. I ask, “Why have you been getting in chat rooms?” He holds real still, looks at me, a deer in headlights, he’s searching for what I already know, trying to judge exactly how much I know. He’s quiet for too long. “Say something! Say something to me right now. Answer my question. Why have you been getting in chat rooms?” He struggles, but manages to say, “I haven’t” I storm out of the room. I’ve never known him to lie to me, but he’s lying now, oh god he’s lying now, what else hasn’t he told me? What else has he lied about? He finds me in the laundry room, he starts pleading with me, but I talk over him “Don’t you EVER lie to me! You’ve been in fucking chat rooms every night, and I confront you and you LIE! Don’t you insult me like that, I know what you’ve done! I have a picture of you on my phone!” He is panic stricken and tries to take my phone from me, I shove him away (no amount of violence or physical dominance has ever been in our relationship prior to this), I am kind of frightened at this point, but still have my phone after screaming at him to get off of me and don’t take my phone and I go back to my bedroom to get away from the lying scum I love. He follows me, but softens himself, moves more slowly and more like a wounded animal, he knows how fucked he is, and how badly he’s just acted. It’s time to apologize. Again.
It’s amazing what an apology can do. How someone can build you up so much, and make you feel so loved when they are apologizing. His fate completely in my hands, he begs me to please have mercy. And my love for him is overpowering. I know he wishes he’d never done any of it, if he could take it back he would, I’m worth so much more and now he could lose me. Oh, the fear of losing me! The sweetness and love in him absorbs me... I stay. I forgive. I tell him to do better, do better for me, I tell him that every time he resists a temptation (because we’re human, temptations come) he will be stronger. Do it for me.
Now we’re 3 years in. He goes to a strip club with his boys for a bachelor party. I cry and scream so hard my nose bleeds. My nose gushes and gushes, I can’t make it stop. All I want is him holding me and comforting me, helping me to stop crying. He apologizes again. He says he wishes he never went, it was so uncomfortable, it was such a waste of money for the cover charge, it was awkward and weird. I forgive. Again.
3.5 years in. He’s napping. I’m cleaning. I pull a towel down from a tall dresser that holds our towels and something falls on the floor. I look closely at the wrapper and plastic. It’s a used conform.
I leave the house in a panic. I drive around for about an hour, freaking out. I call my best friend. “Maybe it isn’t his! He hates condoms. So many people have lived in this house before us... I have to ask him and see how he reacts. I’ll know if he’s lying. I know what he’s like when he lies.” I get back home and the sound of the door wakes him up. He comes into the living room to hug me and say hello. Another rejected hug. “What’s that?” I point at the coffee table with the old, used condom on it. He says, “Ew! Where did you find that?!” I ask, “Is it yours?” And he replies nonchalant, “No, a lot of our friends have lived in this house, it’s probably one of theirs. Where did you find it?” “In the bathroom on top of the towel cabinet” I say “It fell down when I was cleaning and pulled a towel down.” I sit in my chair and start to cry, overwhelmed by all the thoughts and feelings I’ve had over the last hour, he leaves me there to cry. A few minutes later I hear him sit down on the couch. I hear paper crumple. I feel that paper hit me. I know inside this crumpled paper is the used condom. What is happening? This is a terrible thing to throw at someone... why would he throw this at me? I hold it in my hand, and let it slip past my fingers and onto the floor. I have no energy to think or feel any different. I just feel overwhelming sadness... I can’t be in this room with him. I go to our room and cover myself in the blankets and sob. He doesn’t come. Some time later, I decide it isn’t right for me to be so sad. I should be angry. So I go fold laundry... angrily. He finds me and asks with bewilderment “Are you mad at me?!” And I spit back “YES! You threw a CONDOM at me! How do you think that makes me feel?! It makes me feel like you’re calling me garbage, cause that’s where you throw used condoms, in the GARBAGE!” And he fired back mockingly “Oh ya, I’m calling the girl I love most in the whoooole world gaarbaage!” And I can NOT believe how badly he is acting, I can not believe he is mocking me for telling him I am mad at him for throwing a used condom at me. So I grab the nearest thing to me that I know won’t hurt him, folded laundry, and I start chucking it at him with as much force as I can muster, screaming and yelling, I don’t remember what I said, I just remember the fury and the hurt and the throwing. He sits on the bathtub and takes it, watches me, sees how angry I am. I leave the room and go sit in the kitchen. He comes in, lays his chin on the table and looks up at me with puppy dog eyes. I feel hatred towards him. I know he’s about to apologize. I’ve already made up my mind that tomorrow, I’m leaving. So I pretend to listen to his apology for now. I don’t tell him he’s forgiven. I just look at him while he whimpers. The next day while he’s at work, I write him a note. I pack a lot of my things. And I leave before he gets back home.
There were many conversations over the next several months, all of him begging for me to come back, him telling me how much better he’s doing, me talking him out of committing suicide, me helping him get his dog out from under the house so he could be taken to the vet when he was very ill (his dog always loved me best, and that hurt him deeply).
2 months ago I started talking to him again with a little more friendliness. He told me he’d given up porn and hadn’t watched it in months, it made him sick now knowing that it contributed to me leaving and porn just brought back to him mind all the fights we had over it. He wanted to give up the things that cost him everything. I was careful when talking to him, I didn’t want to just fall back in. I wanted him to slowly earn my trust again, if he could... I know I’ve only shared the bad things he’s done in this story, but there is so much that is miraculous and lovely about him. I know his every fear and worry. I know him so intimately... I miss his encouragement and his stories. He’s a beautiful person with some terrible flaws (who of us isn’t so flawed?). Over time I soften more. And more. He sends me songs like Sam Cooke’s Come Running Back to You. He sends me pictures of us. He reminds me of all of the deep, intimate memories and promises we’ve made to each other. I finally decide I want to try again, but suddenly he tells me he’s been seeing some other girl for 2 weeks... he says they cook together, they talk all the time, and she’s just very sweet. He says he can’t leave her for me when it could be a really great relationship. But he tells me “Not all hope is lost. How could I ever love someone else as intensely as we loved? Would he be crushed as he was when I left should they break up? Of course not! I just can’t keep doing things that make me feel small.”
So that’s it. That’s the end. He wants me to hold on now, to wait for him, while some other girl sleeps in my bed.
I shed it all.
I am alone. And that is what I need right now.
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2020.10.15 05:37 LizBarrettC Perfect first date... no second date?
When I (22f) say this first date was perfect, I mean it really was magical. I am a hopeless romantic, I’ll admit, but I am also aware of reality. So, met this dude (28m) (we will call him Luke) on a Christian app similar to tinder. After a week of texting, we decided on a date Friday night! (Saturday is my birthday, please note) This guy was terrible at texting, noted. Friday night comes along and we meet up and we get dessert and eat it and walk downtown and it’s cute. Yay. Then we go back to his place and talk. He takes me to the rooftop of his parking garage and we kiss for the first time and slow dance. Guys. We slow danced. Cute, huh. Anyway, we go back to his apartment, hand in hand, and then make out as people do. We kiss and talk for like five hours. Mostly talking. Deep talking too. He then tells me he got out of a relationship 2 weeks ago.. uh sir? He said he felt it was important to have open communication. Whatever. Rebound alert. That’s all we do and then he walks me to my car and my car is GONE. Turns out I put the info in wrong while filling out a guest pass and it was towed. It’s like 2am now (Saturday was my birthday so it’s now my birthday). Luke figures out where my car is out and takes me to it. He insists on paying for it, $180, but I say no. We laugh about the incident, hug lots, kiss lots, and I go on my way back home. Life is good.
Next day, Luke texts me “happy birthday cute girl” and tells me he’s still butt hurt that I didn’t let him pay for my car. I tell him that next time my car gets towed, he can pay for it. He says “lol we won’t let your car get towed again.” Yadadada. Okay, so that was on Saturday and now it is Wednesday. That’s the last time we talked. I Snapchatted him on Sunday wishing him a good Sunday and he left me on read. I followed him on Instagram, he didn’t follow back.
My gosh. I’m clearly the rebound and I’m sure he’s not ready to date even casually, but how did it go from absolute perfection to literally nothing? I mean, we did all that cute stuff like holding hands, nose kisses, slow dancing, deep talks while cuddling. Now what?
So the question is, do I just leave it be and wonder what if’s and hope that he eventually swoops in? Or do I give it another week or so and reach out? I’m clearly so down for a second date because it went so naturally, but like, I can’t read this kid.
Does rebound equal no chance?
Long story short: I (22f) went on a really natural sweet date with Luke (28m), found out he broke up with his gf two weeks prior, haven’t heard back. I am confused. What do I do? It’s been five days without a word. I’m overthinking this, right?
Clearly I don’t date often enough to know anything lol help.
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